I have depression. I have struggled with it since my teen years. I have good days, I have bad days. I have good hours and bad ones. It's completely unpredictable. Over the years I have learned to detect when my depression has been triggered. I have learned how to pull my self out of that dark place. I love how in the Harry Potter novels, JK Rowling uses the dementors as a metaphor for depression. The cold soulless creatures literally suck all the happiness from you until you are nothing. I can't speak for the rest of the people who struggle with depression, but that's what it feels like for me. Wanting so deeply the happiness that seems just beyond my reach. But it is not beyond my reach! And it is not beyond yours!
You can replace that darkness with happiness. For me it's a combination of positive affirmations, serving others, setting and accomplishing goals, exercise, therapy, and the most important, faith in myself that I am stronger than my illness. It has taken me years to find out what works great for me. What works for me, may not work for someone else. You need to try an assortment of different things until you find your winning combination. I have always been very vocal about my depression. I have never felt ashamed, or felt the need to hide it. Although I have recently had an experience that I would like to share.
I have been having an extremely difficult time with my depression after moving away from my family and friends. I have opened up about my increasing depression to a few people that have become a part of my new life. Then something strange started to happen.... For the first time in my life people around me were more focused on my illness than me as a person. I am by no means upset by this, because I know that it is coming from a place of caring and love. The tips and suggestions were abundant. Their eyes ever watchful for the signs. If I stayed in bed too long (just because I love the relaxing warmth and comfort offered there.... who doesn't) it must be depression. If I choose to stay at home instead of going out on the town (because I just want to chill and watch The Walking Dead) it must be depression. It's interesting that my personality is getting mistaken for depression.
I have taught classes for years about the stigma of mental illness. I thought I had it pegged. But this was a new form of stigma for me. A stigma that came from a place of love, and not a place of hate. Now that I have identified it, I have started to put into place a plan to overcome it. I have discovered that you have to be your own advocate. You need to be wiling to say "Thank you for your concern, it shows me how much you care, but at the moment I'm doing good. Laying in bed a little bit longer on Saturday afternoon is just something I enjoy." You need to give people permission to not worry about you all the time. Trust me, you will feel so much better once you have taken control of the situation and taught those around you how to separate you from your illness.
Here are some awesome tips from the Mayo Clinic on how to deal with stigma...
1. Get treatment. You may be reluctant to admit you need treatment. Don't let the fear of being labeled with a mental illness prevent you from seeking help. Treatment can provide relief by identifying what's wrong and reducing symptoms that interfere with your work and personal life.
2. Don't let stigma create self-doubt and shame. Stigma doesn't just come from others. You may mistakenly believe that your condition is a sign of personal weakness or that you should be able to control it without help. Seeking psychological counseling, educating yourself about your condition and connecting with others with mental illness can help you gain self-esteem and overcome destructive self-judgment.
3. Don't isolate yourself. If you have a mental illness, you may be reluctant to tell anyone about it. Your family, friends, clergy or members of your community can offer you support if they know about your mental illness. Reach out to people you trust for the compassion, support and understanding you need.
4. Don't equate yourself with your illness. You are not an illness. So instead of saying "I'm bipolar," say "I have bipolar disorder." Instead of calling yourself "a schizophrenic," say "I have schizophrenia."
5. Join a support group. Some local and national groups, such as the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), offer local programs and Internet resources that help reduce stigma by educating people with mental illness, their families and the general public. Some state and federal agencies and programs, such as those that focus on vocational rehabilitation or the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA), offer support for people with mental health conditions.
6. Speak out against stigma. Consider expressing your opinions at events, in letters to the editor or on the Internet. It can help instill courage in others facing similar challenges and educate the public about mental illness.
And remember, others judgments almost always stem from a lack of understanding rather than information based on the facts. Learning to accept your condition and recognize what you need to do to treat it, seeking support, and helping educate others can make a big difference.
And remember, others judgments almost always stem from a lack of understanding rather than information based on the facts. Learning to accept your condition and recognize what you need to do to treat it, seeking support, and helping educate others can make a big difference.
I would love to hear what you have done to overcome stigma in your life. You can comment below or email us at thelongandwindingroadtohappy@gmail.com
